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January 2013



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Jan. 5th, 2013

(no subject)

feel like no matter what most people do there will always be one person they always think of at least in one small moment of their day. And they think "I missed my chance" or "I miss them." And oh my dear even when you're near I miss you so. I miss you so damn much. And like the rest I weep over the past and try to move forward with the constant reminders of you and your last words still hanging in the air. You know every inch of me, down to my fragile bones. But darling let me explore you more. Let me find what I've been missing. Don't leave me with any regrets because I'm still hoping for the best.

Feb. 13th, 2010


do nothing now but fight.
I realize I cause almost everyone of them.
but here you are running from everything like always.
never seeking help.
So much frustration this keeps causing
I don't know, I just don't know anymore.
So all I can do now is cry.
That's the only thing I can do I guess.
Nothing else seems to work.

Feb. 8th, 2010

oh help

I think I'm floating away.

Jan. 18th, 2010

day 5 age

day 5     

age can change you in many ways,
looks being one of the main ways.
For me I'm scared of what it brings,
death and responsibilities.
But I know it's something I need to face.
I've always been a teenage middle aged woman.
Just mature, never really being a kid.
I've learned to let change happen because it's what would mold me.
I've learned to cope and move on.
I guess that's a good trait to keep.

Jan. 17th, 2010


Give me some consistency
but give me change
Give me some attention
but leave me be
Give me peace and quiet
but give me noise
Give me me time
but hurry up
Give me give me structure
but give me fun
Give me age
but let me have my youth

I'm a walking irony.
Hopeless but exciting.

Jan. 15th, 2010

let's attach then detach

We pull ourselves together,
only to get pulled apart.
Life runs it's course taking them away with it.
The one you love or someone you know
life won't stop for you.
We agree and disagree but it never means to give up,
a person easy to give up is a horrible quit.
Stan guard from those who leave

Jan. 14th, 2010

The end

I'm seeing all that is clear
I see dying and tragedies
I'm finding all to life just might lead to death.
I'm searching for my soul
searching for a sign
God is making me see everything beautiful even our end.
I'm losing fear of dying because It brings me to him.
Our end is near and we are free to love again
the end is here
The end is beautiful.

Jan. 4th, 2010

(no subject)

every time you leave now I'm feeling even more lost.
My sister is gone away
so many miles in between friendship
i don't know where to go or do.
I feel empty
i know I shouldn't attach myself so much but you're the true friend i never had :/
so now I wait for 8 months
wishing you were here again.

Dec. 13th, 2009

(no subject)

I'm at peace with myself for once.
I've found my silver lining and I will stay here.
I've dealt with my sufferings
I've walked through fires
and I'm still here.
Now I rest, content.

Dec. 12th, 2009

(no subject)

This is what I want,
I don't wanna screw this up.

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