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Dec. 12th, 2009

me.

I've changed a lot lately.
We moved on and forgot everything that used to make us smile..
I don't miss anymore.
We're starting to forget the very finest of ourselves now.
Others begin to forget us and we feel lost and scared.
I can't help but think "why am I here?"
Is there a reason beyond ?
I've been told.
I believe but
I'm so scared.
I don't know what comes for me.
I'm terrified of what is coming.
That's what I hold onto
that's what I know..
This is what I see.
The only thing that is clear is my fear inside.
Like a raging fire in my chest, a pain I can't describe
but a change I need
to move on and feel alive.
I need to free myself..
This wild animal, a beast within.. begs for freedom.
How do I run?
There's no answer, but trapped.
For now I let small parts out, roars of life.
I'll begin to see everything clear, once I'm me.


Nov. 20th, 2009

You

can stop trying to fool yourself..
Giving yourself distractions won't fool loneliness...
But don't let it take you down.
Let everything go, let yourself breathe
give things time and it'll be okay
lick your wombs and sew them shut
open your pretty big eyes and see the world that wants you near.
I won't let them catch you..
so look up to the sky and dream of better times you deserve.


(no subject)

It's quite funny how you hear a cute sweet song
and it makes your day a little brighter :]


All wrong

Your fingertips pressed to mine feel quite right I can't keep this in but I don't know you so why keep it? No smiles, just lies & thirst for you. Keep an eye for attack its deadly & unexpected. I'll break you into pieces & you'll want every part of me. No control you'll lose everything you never knew you had. Though I'm never one of them. So thoughtless & out of control, is this what you really wanted after all? The tables were turned on me. Expectation& promising the dirtiest of words that you whispered through me. I kept myself clear.now you're the one. I don't know why I fight for you this way. Rip the gravity from me feet I'll take your heart. wake up , you weren't right after all. I'm alive & well.

we knew, we know

Nothing could justify the pain caused by our foolishness.
Now, all hate aside. I miss my best friend...
the person I looked to when my world fell apart, you were there to fix me
I try to keep hating you because I know deep inside that you deserve it..
but I can't.
I forget everything about you now, the color of eyes, then warmth or your skin.
We were young and reckless.
We knew we were going to feel pain.
We know how bad it feels.
Maybe is not a question anymore.
There was never a maybe.
There is no more blame or hate.
I can't be this girl anymore.
I can't be strong at command.
You knew I was really weak.
But I honestly tried.
more than with any other..
I write to you, though you will never see,
hopefully one day you'll know who I really was..
you were the only one who caught a glimpse.
Though I could never let you back in my life,
you know you have part of me.
You took the part you wanted.
The part I wasn't.
so I want to say thank you.
For bearing the real me.
I know who I am now.
Even though I can't explain to others..
but why should I?
Like you, they'll see what they want.
So here's my last letter.
I'm forgetting the memories.
Please don't forget me.

Imagining.

How could I possibly think I could work things out?
I need someone to save me.
all cliches aside.
I've noticed little by little that I'm falling apart.
Slowly people begin to notice, but don't bother to pay attention.
I'm afraid to sleep because of what haunts me.
I'd rather live in reality because it's not as harsh as waking up realizing it was all a lie.
Maybe I'm imagining everything I once loved.
How could I be so sure?

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